Thursday, April 17, 2008

DETOX AND DOPE-SICKNESS





Dope-sickness is the term used to describe a state one is in during the physical withdrawals from drugs; most commonly opiates.

Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine being so incredibly hot like you have a fever of one hundred four degrees. You're sweating profusely and your skin feels like its on fire from underneath it. Then imagine feeling incredibly cold. So much though that you have chills from head to toe. Your gut has pains that are equivalent to being stabbed repeatedly with an ice pick. Sounds awful,, right? Well, there's more, my friends....much more. Keep in mind that you are feeling all these sensations simultaneously. While your temperature is fluctuating and your gut is cramping you also have a horrible feeling of your skin "crawling". It's as though a zillion ants are all over you. You even punch and slap yourself randomly hoping it will cease. It feels like razor blades are being raked over your entire body while someone smashes your lower back with a baseball bat at full force. The need to squirm and twitch is relentless. Every time you swallow it's as if a rock is sliding down your throat only to hit your stomach like a ton of bricks making you nauseous but unable to purge....yet. Even your hair and fingernails hurt. The air against your skin might as well be poison darts penetrating your flesh at high velocity.

This only gets more and more intense; every second of every minute of everyday!!! Oh yes, time is but a master of pain, delivering more with each passing moment. It is the most brutal torture one can endure. The only reprieve I had was knowing I will die eventually. And I prayed and held on to the hope that I wouldn't live another second.

One would assume that after experiencing such agony, the desire for drugs would be immediately erased. I mean it would be crazy, absolutely insane, to pick up a drug that would ultimately leave you in that state of hell again. Well my friends, welcome to the demon I call addiction.

The only thing worse than feeling dope-sick is watching someone you care about feel it and be going through it. I think every time I witnessed another going to that hellish place, I relived the agony as well. All opiates have this similar, if not identical, detox (physical withdrawal).

I never knew there were degrees of this, however. The first time you go through it is the worst. You just don't know how bad it can hurt. Nothing in life can be compared to dope-sickness. It is its own entity. My first time was off the mac-daddy opiate: Oxycontin.

Oxycontin, or synthetic heroin, as it's called, is one of the most brutal drugs to detox from. It was no picnic to detox off heroin either. But because Oxycontin was my first dance with detox, it was by far the worst. I know Oxycontins ( O.C.'s) are pills, but I don't think I've ever eaten one in my life. After removing the time release, I'd snort them. I was up to four eighty milligram pills a day.

I couldn't get out of bed without snorting a quarter of one in the beginning. It wasn't long before I was snorting a whole one in the morning, one by lunch, one before work, and one after work. At forty dollars a pill this was not a cheap habit! But after detoxing once, I promised myself I'd never ever run out again. Ha!

Things to consider: your supplier getting busted or your funds being depleted. Not to mention the way it blankets your soul. Eventually, I wasn't even getting high. My opiate receptors needed the drug to simply be "normal." People would notice more if I wasn't on it than if I was. I couldn't''t do anything.

The bad thing about picking up after your first run with dope-sickness is that you know you lived through it...somehow. And you know what to expect. Every time is still an unbelievable nightmare, but you get used to it.

I must have gone through detoxing a million times. There is no way to make iit stop early but to pick-up and use again to relieve the pain. My advice, ride it out. Yes, it is going to feel like it will never end. And you will welcome the idea of dying. But remember, everytime you interrupt your body's desire to rid itself of these poisons, you only post-pone the inveitable. You will have to do it eventually unless you overdose and die first. Think of it like this: it's going to be at least three days of the worst you've ever felt in your life. Probably more like five days before you get slightly better. You can plan on feeling crappy for a month. A month may seem like forever now, but after it's over, you will thank yourself.

I promise it's not easy....but you're worth the effort!


I know I couldn't go through it again. If I pick up heroin or Oxycontin again I might as well do it in the cemetery. My only detox left is death.

38 comments:

CheeseMan said...

couldn't have said it better myself. The really thing that bugs me is my legs. It feels like restless leg syndrome times a million. Ya, the funny ass restless leg syndrome we think their making up, well it's true for us dope addicts. I will ride it out again, my dealer got busted, but this time I'm going to stay off.

Jason said...

I TOTALLY agree with that pain, but would add a few things. First. forget about sleeping. It won't happen as you will feel hot, cold and the need to stretch and move (the kicks). You will be up for a minimum of three days straight going through this hell mentioned in the post. However, there is a miracle drug called suboxone which will take ALL this pain away in a matter of minutes. It's expensive, but works and gets you off the drugs fast and curbs your desire for them too.

matt said...

also, there is bupinorphine(sp?). After only 2 months of scattered use I was up to just 120mg per day of oxy's. I stopped partying with them not knowing about being 'dope-sick'. I thought i had swine flu. After 8 days of hell, I started with opiats again. Then i felt fine. It was only after I was a month and a half into partying again that I learned I had actually been dope sick rather than having swine flu. Then shit started making sense. Realizing I was gona have to go threw hell again, (which it really is) I purchased 2 bupe's. For my normal use, 1/8 per day of bupe curbed the sickness perfect but, you don't want to stay on bupe for long. So, after 1 week of bupe, I purchased a few vicodin 5mgs. I understand there is no way not to face the hellishness of being dope-sick but my friends and fellow addicts, I assure this is a much easier way. After 1 more week taking 2 days of 15mg, 3 days of 10mgm and 2 days of 5mgm, im almost home free and will only have slight withdrawl symptoms. one thing is for sure, being dope-sick is the shittiest most painfully annoying feeling in the world. I have been an alcoholic for about 10 years, and even I who puts down a minimum of 12 beers a night, couldnt stomach a single drop.

irisheyes said...

Very well said. It is horrible but lets not forget the terrible feelings of sadness and lonliness you feel.

ian said...

it can be bad
ok so i snort some speed for the first time in 2 years
i put a 20 bag up my nose over the course of a night

three days later
ive been sick like im gonna die
when i looked dope up
it says that STREET DOPE is like 10% pure
well aparently here in portland its like 70% and up


3 days non stop im shakeing and sweating right now

Dope.Fiend.Detroit said...

after 2 years of steady daily use, and 2 federal charges for fraud checks cause i couldnt keep up the money to get high anymore, i was up to 4 bags of heroin 20% pure a day, shooting them up and feeling relief in seconds, im in my 2nd day of college and of course im dopesick as hell so i instantly started finding dealers, im about to get my first bag in a smaller town, im from detroit, and i know its just gonna be shit. ive tried and tried but i cant quit, im dropping college, going back to detroit, finding a job and getting high for the rest of my life, p.s. died 3 times, nothing better feeling in the world.

justlittleolchristy said...

I cannot stress the degree to which I have experienced dope sickness, from oc's to heroin to methadone, I have done it all. I detoxed off the methadone program and have been buying shit off the street since then. The agony is simply too much to bear when you know how to get something that will take it away instantly. And even after you have gone through being sick and are feeling better, the urge to use is still overwhelming.

teadec said...

how about the relentless vomiting and diareaha? that was always my favorite part. I used for 10 years and am now proud to say Im 6months clean. There is hope, as vague and far away as it may seem. Addiction is a disease like diabeties and should be treated as such. I medically detoxed for 5 days then went on suboxone. Expensive as hell without insurance but how much did i spend on pills a week? Your local detox facility has sponsors that will pay for you to detox, all kinds of tricks to get the capital needed to do it safely. Just ask for help. Its hard but your worth it." What makes life worth living is that it is so fleeting."

D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
D said...

All I can say is coming off dope n pills sucks . I was not that deep into the dope but I was doing it to not get sick when I couldn't find or afford the crazy ass expensive pills that I was doing. I mean sure the withdrew sucks but staying clean I the hard part I think. I have been 4 days clean n all I can think about is getting high. Also I can't see or chill with my good friends course they all use too. I can't run with the same people n that hurts too. I am finished hurting my family and loved ones

sickerton! said...

Trying To sleep Getting Like Hot flashes! yeah not a good time it feels as if your sweating from the inside out.. and Then It feels like things are crawling and you hvae the kicks and the slaps! and All you wanna do is sleep but your legs feel so cramped ive only had a taste of this and i hope i never get it worse.

jtothebean said...

Keep in mind that certain things work better for certain people when dealing with detoxing. I start the methadone program next week, and I have never been happier than knowing that my 5 year battle with dope will soon end. I have dealt with dope sickness and kicked cold turkey a dozen times in the past, and also using buprenorphine, but now with my habit in excess of 4 grams a day, buprenorphine will not touch my withdrawals. I definitely agree with the author here, that one should ride out the dope sickness, if not for any other reason than it is a huge deturrant to never pick up again. However, when your habit is huge and you just cant hack the withdrawals, there are other avenues to get off of opiates. Methadone has been around since the70's and has been Provence safe and effective. Suboxone is great, but a lot of people feel frustration with the drug, because it is also an opiate blocker. If you use while taking suboxone, you will not get high. There are other ways to ease dope sickness. One way I learner from a close friend who recently had to detox in jail, is by drinking your own urine. This may sound disguisting, but as a nurse, I can assure you that this method is entirely safe and also effective. Your body expells toxins primarily through your bodily waste. Ever notice that your peer in the morning smells just like dope? Well, that is because your body is trying like hell while you are sleeping to get rid of the toxins you are putting into it (I.e. the dope). The reasonwhy this holistic method to ease withdrawals is safe is because your bladder is actually the only sterile organ in your body, meaning your urine is completely free and clear of any bacteria that can make you sick from ingesting it. So, if you can get past withe thought of what you're doing, it may be worth a shot for those of you that are choosing a chemical-free detox. Good luck and godspeed with your recovery.

DopeAddictinVa said...

Dope sickness is the worst possible thing to endure in ones life! Yet us addicts continue to return to the pits of hell time and time again only to end up with the same results as before. Why? Because we are addicts! Ive been through this 100 times and the shit never changes! Get high for a few weeks and be broke for 2 months! Ive had houses,cars,wives,girlfriends,children but nothing can stop my addiction! I lose it all only to return to the pits of hell again called HEROIN! What a life to live! Ive been dopesick this whole week after a nice but expensive 2 month run only to be cast in the pits of hell again! Puking,cold sweats,hot flashes,restless leg and arm syndrome,flat ass broke,and cant wait to shake the sickness so i can go back to work for a few more weeks and then PROBABLY do it all over again! ADDICTION ADDICT!

hardmuzikaddict said...

Dude I'm so fuckin sick, I've been shooting heroin every day for the past 4 months, my family invited me on an 8 day vacation and the stash I brought didn't last the first 2 days. Now I'm in hell its 546 am and I can't sleep the crawling under my skin is unnerving
. I'm in paradise and all I can think about is going back home to my shitty apartment to get hi. I would kill for a suboxone right now, my family's having fun at the beach and all I can do is toss and turn counting every second of suffering. Got three days left wtf am I gonna do? I feel like I need to go to an emergency room

jtothebean said...

This is a response to the aug 16 post.. I totally empathize w what you are going through. My advice to u is to go to the emergency room and fake having really bad dental pain (toothache), as dental pain,is very hard to prove. They will most likely give you narcotic pain killers such as vicodin or percocet. They will help immensely w your withdrawls. Just make sure u act like you are in pain. Be convincing and hide any track marks you may have. Doctors arent stupid, but by law they cannot accuse you of lying unless they have evidence. Good luck and god bless. You could also fake an anxiety attack, in which they will prob give u benzos such as xanax, which will really help w your sleep. But dont fake both, that will be too obvious. Immodium helps a lot, and ibuprofen will help w body aches. Hopefully this helps you. J

lost in vertigo said...

People keep talking about the miracle detox drug 'suboxone', but let me give you a bit of advice before running to it.... Yes, it will make all your wd symptoms disappear like magic, you'll feel like a million bucks, it will seem like your days of addiction are finally over.... But after some time on this 'wonderful' medication, the reality will finally set in that you've only substituted one drug for another. Even after weaning off suboxone over a 2 month span, and getting yourself down to .5mg a day, the withdrawals from it are the same as any other opiate (because it's still an opiate... Even though it's only a partial). I was on vics for 3yrs (up to 16 a day) and wanted off of them badly, so I went to an outpatient program and was prescribed subs for 2 months. I weaned myself down from 16mg a day to .5mg over a 2 month period. I've been off them for 9 days now and am STILL sick!! Obviously not as bad as I was the first few days, but still nausea, diarahea, trouble sleeping.... Etc. I just want to be normal again!! I felt obligated to warn people about the subs before they get fooled like I did!! :-(

D1 said...

I hate having a steady supply of Methadone and Percocet. Detoxed before off Methadone and it was a Mother fucker. Now, I get a more than generous supply of Percocet once a month. Bad idea because I'm strung out on those. I have my routine. When I run out of the "Perc" I got the Methadone so I don't get sick. Its INSANITY!

OpiateRecoveryaddict said...

I kicked Methadone cold turkey back in 2006. 55mg/day, to zero. It was the HARDEST thing I have ever done, and don't think I could do it again. I had no other connections at the time, and decided to tough it out and try my best to get through it. Several doctor visits, but left with nothing to help, except sleep aids, and blood pressure meds. I went out and bought a shitload of supplements, which, I'm sure helped speed up the process. It took 21 days of almost complete HELL to feel better. Did not sleep for 18 days straight! I'm not joking! If I did, I don't remember doing so, in that entire 18 day stretch! Day 19, I got my first dose of sleep. And then to day 21, it started to get better, really fast. BUT, nothing was fast about it! It was horror! If you are on Methadone, you are in for a ride! Also, I'm currently on Subutex, 14mg per day, and have been on it for a year and a half. Just before today, I ran out of my script a few days early and I thought I'd be ok, but after the half-life was up, (right around 40 hours for me) I started feeling "IT", the DOPESICKNESS starting to kick in! This was Monday morning, and my appointment to refill my script was at 5pm on Tuesday! I was entering hell very quickly Monday morning and early into the afternoon. It was not horrible, I was not dry heaving, (yet) but I had that restlessness feeling all over, but my mind was playing tricks on me BIG TIME! I called to see if I could go in that afternoon, even though my doctor only runs the Suboxone clinic only on Tuesdays at 5pm, after normal business hours, and regular doctor visits. I made up an excuse. No luck, he was "out of town" and he is the only one who can write the script. He is my dealer! And CVS is my supplier! It's as SIMPLE AS THAT! It's just legal now. But the ride I'm on is a super hard one to come off of.

OpiateRecoveryaddict said...

I kicked Methadone cold turkey back in 2006. 55mg/day, to zero. It was the HARDEST thing I have ever done, and don't think I could do it again. I had no other connections at the time, and decided to tough it out and try my best to get through it. Several doctor visits, but left with nothing to help, except sleep aids, and blood pressure meds. I went out and bought a shitload of supplements, which, I'm sure helped speed up the process. It took 21 days of almost complete HELL to feel better. Did not sleep for 18 days straight! I'm not joking! If I did, I don't remember doing so, in that entire 18 day stretch! Day 19, I got my first dose of sleep. And then to day 21, it started to get better, really fast. BUT, nothing was fast about it! It was horror! If you are on Methadone, you are in for a ride! Also, I'm currently on Subutex, 14mg per day, and have been on it for a year and a half. Just before today, I ran out of my script a few days early and I thought I'd be ok, but after the half-life was up, (right around 40 hours for me) I started feeling "IT", the DOPESICKNESS starting to kick in! This was Monday morning, and my appointment to refill my script was at 5pm on Tuesday! I was entering hell very quickly Monday morning and early into the afternoon. It was not horrible, I was not dry heaving, (yet) but I had that restlessness feeling all over, but my mind was playing tricks on me BIG TIME! I called to see if I could go in that afternoon, even though my doctor only runs the Suboxone clinic only on Tuesdays at 5pm, after normal business hours, and regular doctor visits. I made up an excuse. No luck, he was "out of town" and he is the only one who can write the script. He is my dealer! And CVS is my supplier! It's as SIMPLE AS THAT! It's just legal now. But the ride I'm on is a super hard one to come off of.

OpiateRecoveryaddict said...

Make no mistake; Suboxone/Subutex/Buprenorphine is a BITCH to kick! And I had tapered the last 10 days! Like, the last 4 days, was 4mg per day, then 2mg, and then 1mg and 1mg, day, and that held me, until the half-life ran out, and WAM! Devastation! I got a HUGE wakeup call! I don't expect this drug to be as difficult as Methadone. Of course, these two drugs would not even be mentioned if it was not for my abuse of other opiates, OC's, Heroin, Fentanyl Patches, anything I could get my hands on! All of these were super hard to come off of too! Methadone, THE HARDEST! Heroin is the second hardest. OC's? Super hard! And now someday in my future, "Wonderful!" Buprenorphine! One more shit ass thing I'm going to have to deal with! AND, DOPESICKESS!? Unless you have experienced it? You have NO FUCKING IDEA! I don't even know how to compare it to ANYTHING! For me, I'm kicking in the bathtub, laying down in a shower, barely drying off and having only the energy to crawl back into bed, only to feel like you need to get up 30 seconds later! AND YOU DO! Then back in the tub! Even though you’re sick and tired of being in the hot water! All you can think about and do it deal with this intense feeling of restlessness, and GOD! I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN THIS FEELING! And then! You sneeze like a machine gun! Your eyes are tearing! Then, (my favorite part) you start to dry heave and feeling like you have to puke. The body response to this, by profusely sweating! Sweat pouring down my forehead! Only to then crawl back into bed, kidding yourself that your usual comfy bed is going to work somehow. You feel better for maybe 1 minute! Then the RLS kicks in again. Both feet and legs are kicking like mad under my covers, only to tangle everything up into a ball eventually, which, of course, ruins the effect of a blanket. So you muster up the energy to get out of bed, (it's like climbing Mount Everest when you are dope sick guys and gals, believe me!) and fixing them again. Only to ruin them, once again, 5 minutes later, after you get into bed. All you can think about is getting something, anything! To take away the feeling. It's not so much, PAIN! That's not what it feels like! It's WORSE than pain! Honest to GOD, I sometimes start punching myself it the face hoping to feel better, only to realize, that it's not the smartest thing to do. So I stop. Then I punch the side of the wall! That only pisses off the people you live with. So, then you have to deal with people telling you to stop banging things around, which only irritates you more.

OpiateRecoveryaddict said...

. Well, I made it through Monday night, (somehow) and through the afternoon, managed to pull myself together, (after several more dry heave/bile producing sessions) to get to my doctor/dealer. He say me early, I was LUCKY! I got in and out of there in 50 minutes, which is unheard of! Got to CVS, and had my script filled in 20 minutes. IT WAS THE LONGEST 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE! The relief came instantly. BUT! I'm NOT AT ALL PROUD of happy to have this on my back people! I feel great now, and will sleep tonight comfortably. But at a HIGH PRICE! I pay $250.00 per visit to see my doctor. I've been on the clinic since March 1st, 2011. I only have a $10 co pay for my Subutex, since I still have Cobra, (which, is like $140 a month, and it going to eventually run out in a year or so) and then, if I'm still on this, I'll be paying around $200+ just to get my pills! And, before I switched over to Subutex, I was on the Suboxone strips, 2 16mg per day for over a year. I was paying FULL PRICE for that. Sometimes over $350.00 and up for my monthly script! So, yeah, it's cheaper than a several bag a day heroin habit, and you avoid the legal issues, and you don't have to shoot up every 8 hours. Now you dose ones per day, is all that is really needed. Sometimes even less! BUT, the cost has been HUGE! And, if something were to happen, like I run out early again, or it gets stolen, or I lose them, or a fire, or WHATEVER! I’m screwed! I WILL SUFFER if I don't have them on a regular basis, and if I can't replace them with something from my dealer, (who I still have the number for. When you are an addict, you quickly learn to NEVER burn your bridges!) And if I have the cash, then I’m all set! But if I don't have the cash, they don't take the risk for charity! You GOT to have you bases covered! So meanwhile, you think of all these things, still living and thinking, the addict life! All true. Good luck and God bless you!

Mr_feltpen said...

You exagerate!!! Yeah withdrawal is prity fucking horrible but is it as bad all the endless moving about to get money then score.Hanging around phone boxes,Whoring yourself out,fucking every one over,sleeping in a cardboard house,going to jail not that it makes a difference coz ur not free any how,smoking roadside dog ends despite spending a hundred on smack,No matter what you get you have nothing,you become nothing,You just exist to get smack,Then you look in the mirror and realise that you have broke every tabboo "I'll never bang up""I'll never rob my family" bollocks!! All your so called mates disapear there O'Ds and sucicides just passing faces after a while not that much matters any more because the head is full of morbid fallacies!!! these symptoms can last decades you die if your lucky and even luckier if you find recovery.The symptoms matey discribes horrible yeah but they last a week.But remember this its not the pain its the brain.
The drug indoctrination you have been subsribing too,If you chose to or not!! So somethings gotta change?

charles jeam said...

Alcoholics undergo detoxification when they check into a clinic in order to get their drinking under control. Drug addicts undergo detoxification when they try to break their need and desire for illegal substances. Drug detoxification

foreverfaded said...

I have lost everything, I just had a daughter my first kid, 3 months old,and she is gone, my boyfriend is gone , my family is gone, this is no way to live, why do we know what but keep going back, I'm sittting here alone on Thanksgivivng detoxing, yes I do have suboxen but I still fell like shit I don't know if I took them too early. I just can't stand this disease

jtothebean said...

I feel your pain, forever faded. Tried to take suboxone to start my detox and even though I waited 12 hrs and was having significant withdrawal, it was still too early and my minor withdrawal was sent careening into full blown precipitated withdrawal. Started at 1:00am and didn't stop until noon today when my dealer finally showed up. Guys, be careful w the subs. I took them exactly as directed and they threw me into a world of hurt. Never in my life have I vomited for 11 hrs straight. This was honestly the most humbling experience I've had yet w my addiction. I threw up over my entire apartment, and probably shit myself at least 5 orv6 times. I'm a prissy girl so to go thru something so horrible and disguistong, well, it sucked. This disease is tough. I've kicked it numerous times but always seem to find myself right back in the game, all fucked up. I wish u all the best w recovery. God bless.

Rebecca Hillegas said...

I'm on day three and my legs are still so restless the horrible hot flashes and I only take 1 small tiny corner once every night. Hopefully this will end. Pooped luke crazy on day two.and horrible back pain. On day three now n hopefully this is gonna end soon?

Mommay1111 said...

I don't really know how long this will take for you. Any of you who have had the courage to share. I thank you as the mother of a 19 year old wonderful, beautiful smart son. He is stopping cold turkey. I guess again. I just days ago learned the true nature/level of his addictions. I cannot wrap my head around his, or your pain and my heart breaks for all of you. All you have lost, endured and want. I ask you to stay strong and know that each one of us is beautiful and worthy in our own way. Someone loves each of you. I love you all for helping me with your stories through this hellish time. Know that the world will not be a better place without you.
Mommay

Broken said...

I've lost a lot too. I'm sorry hang in there sweetheart

Shana Young said...

I was hooked on Tylenol 4s for 8 years after having 8 surgeries within those years. At the end of those 8 yrs I was taking 70 T4s a day, I know...sounds impossible right? But its true I was getting 1000 at a time from my regular family doc. I started noticing that even that amount was keeping me at a steady high so i saw my doctor and was put on 6 100mg tabs of codeine contin a day. Thats when things really started to go down hill. I loved the feeling those gave me, kept me high for longer since they are a slow release pill so the more i would take the higher i would feel. I was in love. I began taking an extra pill every once in a while and soon i noticed if i only took the 6 i would feel sick. There was many times i went thru my prescription too fast and i worried trying to come up with excuses to tell the doc about why i would need more. I lied to everyone in my life. I got so good at lying that i started believing myself. About 9 mnths ago I realized i was gonna have to change something or i was going to die. I was also taking clonazepam and lorazepam at the same time and I was now up to 15 100mg codeine contins a day. I remember carrying my pills in my bra so i knew they were near me. Towards the end of my addiction i noticed when i looked in the mirror that i didnt know who i was anymore and i could barely see my reflection. I finally gave into going to detox when i could feel my body shutting down. I couldnt even eat anymore. Detox was hell. I was hospiralized while i was there for severe pain. I didnt sleep for 1 min while i was in detox. I stayed there for 7 days. I felt better by the 7th day and i was excited to go home. Once i got home it was hell again. I had to learn everything over again, life without the comfort of taking a pill to push the stress away was terrifying. I felt like this for a long time. I couldnt sleep at all cuz my legs were twitching and everything hurt. I finally got into see a new doc and was prescribed trazedone to sleep. Wkth that i could finally sleep, once i started sleeping i atarted to feel alot better. It took about 3 monts to start feeling "normal" again. Today i am 9 months clean and i feel great. I want everyone to know it is possible even tho it will feel like hell for a while in the end it is worth it.

paul blaicher said...

Well by reading all of these passages I can see it has not gotten any better out there, and for those who wish to keep trying I wish you the best. I was told early on in recovery that I had to make a choice, being an addict the only thing I was good at choosing was what vein to hit next. After becoming ready to do whatever was necessary to not die from my addiction I was ready to start some work. I myself did the subs for a while, but anybody on those please realize they are to help get you clean not take for the rest of your life. After being honest with myself and coming to terms with the fact I can no longer use ANY mind or mood altering chemicals ever again it became a lot easier for me to work with other addicts who had been able to do it for a few 24 hrs. It all starts with Honesty Open mindedness and the willingness to change every thing in my life, and I can't tell you how blessed I am today to have the obsession to use gone from my mind and my body. I can only suggest these things but can tell you that they work, have for me and have countless numbers of other people.

As far as the meds are concerned, any body on subs, I can only suggest you get off as soon as you can. There's another wonder drug out there that a lot of doctors don't talk about, it's called Naltrexone. It is basically subs without the opiates in it so if you miss a dose no sick feeling and as far as fighting the cravings, Amazing stuff, and even better it's an opiate blocker as well. If detoxing or on subs please discuss with a licenced professional about to safely go about doing so, we all know those neighborhood doctors want nothing more than to keep us sick. I will keep all of to in my prayers and if no one has told you today, I will, I love you! And you are worth the trouble of getting clean.

Just remember become Honest, Openminded and Willing and find some sort of fellowship.

Andrea Desouja said...

Drug detox can occur under the supervision of treatment professionals. Help with the detox process reduces the likelihood of addiction relapse.Family Intervention

veggievixen said...

wow..i know the original author inside and out, and may i say i am so glad the author posted that post and prayers to all of you struggling with this affliction...the author has since undergone many medical issues and had to be put on the medicines that once took so much away....but learned that even an ex-addict can stay an ex-addict and learn to manage medication responsibly and come off it when appropriate....it's not a simple task but if facing terminal illness some treatments are far too painful to manage without opiate relief....the author currently does not take these meds as the dieases are cured... never once was there a problem managing the medicines during treatment of the illnesses....recovery is NOT an event but a journey, an evryday walk on the right track....don't beat yourself up if you fall....just focus, believe, reach out and feel free to post here...I have ways to help if not only to chat and a phone number i am willing to give to talk you through hard times.....a distraction occassionally helps and chatting with a fellow addict who kicked it and understands your every hellish feeling might be a nice little distarction.... I love you all who suffer with this . I cannot explain it...I have had a place in my heart for addicts before i ever tried anything on a recreational level....its in my DNA...HUGE empathy and there are ways to get help and no matter what you have done or experienced or are trying to escape...YOU ARE WORTHY OF GREAT THINGS !!! Our world would miss you...your energy would be lost to all of us...If you think no one cares I PROMISE I DO!

Lost_without_my_son said...

My 19 year old son took his own life while he was in withdrawal. He had only been doing heroin for 3 months, but he did not want to be heroin addict anymore. He left a note saying how the drug made him feel like he was ripping though his skin and how he was constantly depressed. You all please listen to me: Be strong. Please stay strong. Beat your addiction. You can do it! There are people out there who love you and want you to have a normal life. I want you to have a normal life. Please, ask God to help you. Don't make your mama suffer like I am suffering. I would give anything to have my son back. You have your whole life ahead of you. Get clean and live your life!!! There is hope on the other side of addiction. My two daughters are now 10 months and 2 years clean and sober. They have found life and happiness again. They owe their sobriety to AA and NA. Check out AA and NA meetings to help you stay clean. Please, please...I beg you to beat this thing. Stand strong. I pray for anyone who reads this - that God will give you the strength to survive this. I love you.

veggievixen said...

i am so sorry he lost his battle...i wil keep uou and your family in my prayers... cannot imagine...bless your girls and you, dear mother! m mom died from drugs..we used together ....i miss her so much but she isn' suffering anymore...again i am so aorry you lost him!

Lost_without_my_son said...

Thank you. And I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Drugs are so evil. They rip families apart and take those who shouldn't be taken. For those of you struggling with addiction, please fight. You can have victory over it! Veggievixen, I am sorry that you have to go on without your mother. Sometimes life is so unfair. You hang in there and make your mama proud. I bet she is smiling down on you! :)

Lost_without_my_son said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael Powell said...

I was always told, "this too, shall pass". Man, I really hated that because I felt like death and wanted to just leave this world. Alcohol and drugs had stopped working long ago. That was 8.5 years ago. Hang on, do the work to find the REAL issues that make you drink\drug to excess, and a better world awaits you. You could not have told me this, because I had no way of seeing it, but it is the truth.

b685d88c-686f-11e4-a5f9-4f8c2c49efc9 said...

Hello it will pass worse was quitting methadone cold turkey couple days dope sick no sweat